EMDR Therapy: What It Is, How It Works, and Whether It Might Be Right for You
Maybe you've heard the term EMDR thrown around and wondered what it actually means. Or maybe you've been carrying something heavy for a long time — a memory that keeps coming back, a feeling you can't shake, a moment that changed everything — and you're looking for something that might actually help.
Either way, I'm glad you're here. Let's talk about EMDR.
So, What Is EMDR?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. I know — it's a mouthful. But the idea behind it is actually pretty intuitive.
It's a type of therapy designed to help your brain process traumatic or distressing memories. Not by talking about them until you've analyzed them to death, but by changing the way your brain holds them. Because here's the thing: when something traumatic happens, your brain sometimes stores that memory in a way that keeps it feeling present, urgent, and unresolved — even years later. EMDR can help shift that.
It was developed in the late 1980s by a psychologist named Dr. Francine Shapiro, and it's now recognized as a gold-standard treatment for trauma by the World Health Organization, the American Psychological Association, and the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, among others. So while it might sound a little unusual at first, there's decades of solid research behind it.
What Actually Happens in a Session?
Here's where people usually get curious — or a little skeptical.
During EMDR, you'll briefly hold a distressing memory in mind while your therapist guides you through something called bilateral stimulation. This typically looks like following a moving object with your eyes (side to side), alternating taps on your hands, or tones played through headphones — switching back and forth between the left and right sides.
I know that might sound a little strange. But the science behind it is fascinating. The theory is that this kind of dual-attention task — holding a memory while tracking that side-to-side movement — actually reduces the emotional intensity of the memory. Your brain can't maintain a full trauma response while it's also doing that tracking. Over time, the memory loses its grip. It doesn't disappear, but it stops feeling so raw.
Think of it like this: your brain is incredibly good at healing — physically, at least. When you get a cut, your body knows what to do. Trauma can interrupt that same natural healing process in your mind. EMDR helps get things moving again.
You Don't Have to Tell Me Everything
One of the most common things I hear from people who are nervous about trauma therapy is some version of: "I don't want to have to relive it."
That's a completely understandable fear. And here's the good news — EMDR doesn't require you to narrate every detail of what happened. You don't have to walk me through the whole story. A lot of the processing actually happens internally, with me guiding you through the phases. Many people find this to be a relief.
What Does the Process Look Like?
EMDR follows a structured eight-phase approach. Here's a simplified version of what that means in practice:
We start by getting to know each other and figuring out what we're working toward. From there, I help you build some tools for managing distress — so you're not going into the harder work without a safety net. Then we'll identify the specific memory or experience to focus on, and begin the actual reprocessing. Along the way, we check in on how you're feeling — mentally and physically — and make sure every session ends with you feeling grounded and okay, not like you've just been cracked open and left that way.
Some people notice big shifts in just a handful of sessions. Others work through things over a longer period, especially when trauma has layered over time. There's no one-size-fits-all timeline, and we'll always go at a pace that feels right for you.
What Can EMDR Help With?
EMDR was originally developed for PTSD, and it's incredibly effective there. But it's useful for a lot more than that. Research supports its use for:
Trauma and PTSD
Anxiety and panic
Depression
Grief and loss
Phobias
Chronic pain
Low self-worth and shame
Difficult childhood experiences
If you grew up in an environment where your emotions weren't safe, where you had to stay small or adapt just to get by, EMDR can be a powerful way to revisit and reprocess those early experiences — without having to relive them blow by blow.
In-Person vs. Virtual EMDR: Does It Matter?
This is a question I get a lot, and it's a good one.
The short answer: virtual EMDR works. Multiple studies — including research comparing outcomes side by side — have found no significant difference in effectiveness between in-person and online EMDR. The therapy translates well to video because the bilateral stimulation adapts easily: you can follow a visual cue on your screen, use audio tones through your headphones, or tap along yourself while I guide you. The protocol is exactly the same; only the delivery shifts.
That said, different formats suit different people, and it's worth thinking about what might work best for you.
Virtual sessions might be a great fit if:
You're in Washington, Colorado, or Texas but don't live near a therapist trained in EMDR
Your schedule is packed and you need flexibility
You feel more comfortable processing hard things in your own space
The idea of sitting in a waiting room before a therapy appointment adds stress you don't need
In-person sessions might feel right if:
You prefer having someone physically present with you during vulnerable moments
You find it hard to focus at home — kids, pets, noise, life
You want that clear separation between "therapy space" and "home space"
I offer both. For in-person sessions, I'm located in Snoqualmie, Washington. Virtual sessions are available for anyone in Washington, Colorado, and Texas.
A Note on Safety
Whether in person or virtual, EMDR should only be practiced by a properly trained and licensed mental health clinician. The EMDR International Association (EMDRIA) explicitly discourages "do-it-yourself" virtual therapy — this is a clinical treatment, not a self-help technique, and having a qualified therapist guide you through it is essential for both effectiveness and safety.
Is EMDR Right for You?
If you've been carrying something for a while — whether it's a specific trauma, a persistent anxiety, or a sense that old patterns keep playing out no matter how hard you try — EMDR might be worth exploring.
It's not magic, and it's not the right fit for everyone. But for a lot of people, it opens something up that other approaches haven't been able to reach. And you don't have to have experienced a dramatic, single-event trauma for it to be helpful. Sometimes the quieter wounds — the ones we minimized, the ones nobody else saw — are the ones that need the most care.
If you're curious, I'd love to talk. Reach out through the contact form and we can figure out together whether EMDR feels like a good next step for you.
Amanda Mott is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW) providing therapy for anxiety, depression, grief, and trauma. She offers both virtual and in-person EMDR therapy, with virtual sessions available in Washington, Colorado, and Texas, and in-person sessions in Snoqualmie, Washington.
